Marriage

This year, it seems, is the year I have to think a lot about marriage.  My oldest son got married in January and I performed the wedding.  His wife's brother got married in April and I did the wedding.  Our state, North Carolina, just voted on a marriage amendment to the state constitution that caused much consternation locally and across the nation.  Suzanne and I just attended a wedding of the son of some of our best friends last weekend.  I have friends who are struggling with divorce, either their own recent divorces or their friends and family. 

I didn't spend much time thinking about the marriage amendment, I believe that the word marriage is the problem.  If they want to have civil unions recognized by the state that allows for all legal protection and rights then anyone should be able to enter such an arrangement with another human being.  The line can be drawn there because the "state" recognizes something different and important about personhood that doesn't extend to non-humans.  Human beings are the only animals who can write and can therefore enter legally binding contractual arrangements or be sued for a breach of such a contract or who pay taxes for instance.  The governmental authorities have made no move to extend such rights or responsibilities to other animals.  A dog or other kept animal is the responsibility of its owner, if the dog commits a crime the owner is held liable for the damages.

Marriage, however, is something that greatly interests me and concerns me.  I have done weddings in several states and only one, Virginia, has required me to register with the state in order to perform the wedding.  I am clear with potential brides and grooms that when I perform the wedding I am not acting as an agent of the state, I perform such ceremonies under the authority vested in me by God and that means also under the responsibility to explain marriage under God and to only agree to perform such a service when we have a common understanding of marriage.  Virginia troubles me a bit because I am acting also as a licensed representative of the state and what the state gives, the state can also take away if it can determine the confines and definitions of marriage.

Marriage is between a man and a woman in my world.  I get to control the definition under the guidance of the Word of God and nowhere there do we see any other definition of marriage.  I don't have the authority or license to change the definition of marriage and perform such ceremonies or declare God's blessing on a union of anything other than a union of a man and a woman.

Now that the definition, its basis and my thoughts on civil unions are on the table, I have some other things to say in reflecting on marriage and what it means and signifies and our responsibility as Christian leaders and Christians generally.  Sit back and reflect with me, this is going to take a while.