You never know where the journey will lead. Twenty-nine years ago I thought I had irretrievably lost my way on my own journey. I was on the edge of flunking out of college, I had let my parents down, I had let down my friends, I had let down myself, and I had let God down. I had spent a semester partying constantly and was doing my best to tune out God's voice. I knew I had a call to ministry but I was equally clear that I didn't want to hear that any longer, so I did what I thought I had to do to drown out that voice, I self-medicated as much as possible.
As exams approached, I knew that I had to do better on one exam than I had any right to expect in order to stay in school. I remember Dec. 18 quite well because I had reached the point where I had studied harder than ever in my life and the chances of it being enough were nil. I went back to my dorm room where I had a shotgun a friend had loaned me to go squirrel hunting with (it was a very different time then but I still think you weren't allowed to have a shotgun in your dorm room) and stuck the barrel of the gun in my mouth with every intention of killing myself when someone came into my room and I quickly put the gun down. I never got a chance to be alone to finish the job that night or the next couple of days. As expected, I came up a bit short and was done with my Sewanee career.
Clearly my life didn't get better that day and it would be another 17 years before I would be willing to hear and answer the call to ministry. There was a lot of pain, a lot of running, and a lot of bargaining with God in between, but there was also a great deal of joy, laughter, love and life that happened in there that I am glad to have experienced. I am fortunate that God sent someone into that room that night to save me from giving up at a time when it all looked bleak.
Sometimes the journey is hard because of us and our failures and shortcomings, but I can say today that God was faithful, more faithful than I could ever have known or expected, more faithful than I ever deserve, but that is who He is.
After the sin of the golden calf in Exodus, when Moses has broken the tablets on which the Commandments are written, he goes back up the mountain to intercede for the people and God renews the covenant. Like Adam and Eve, the terms were obedience or death and they had already broken the first commandment and rejected Him, and yet He renewed the covenant with them. In that moment Moses asked to see the Lord. At that time, the name of the Lord was simply known as "I AM." On this day, Moses got an expanded understanding of his God, The LORD descended in the cloud and stood with him there, and proclaimed the name of the LORD. The LORD passed before him and proclaimed, "The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation." (Exodus 34.5-7)
I understand that reality of a merciful God who abounds in steadfast love and faithfulness, I have experienced it and I daily walk in that reality only because He kept me from my own will in 1980. For that I am deeply humbled and truly thankful and prepared to walk with Him wherever He leads me today.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
The rhythm of worship
As a Christian who has chosen to be in a liturgical setting, this is an important time of the year. Liturgy really means work or service so it should also imply that our worship is more interactive, the work of the people being the worship of God. The implications for our worship are that we don't have congregations in the sense that their job is congregating to listen, that we are there to do more. Our worship asks that you sing, participate verbally in responding to prompts to worship or affirm your beliefs, that you join with others in the public confession of sinfulness in failing to love God with all your heart and the failure to love your neighbor as yourself, and to receive the forgiveness that comes through Jesus' death on the cross.
After that work is complete, you are invited to respond to an altar call. Most Protestant churches have an altar call and someone responds once to that call and they are then baptized and good to go. In our tradition, we believe that those who are already baptized need continual renewal due to the ongoing reality of sin in our lives. The practice of weekly communion is a reminder of our continuing need for the cleansing work of the cross and a reminder of the hope of the resurrection and its power for mission and ministry. The ending of the service is actually a commandment to mission, either "Let us go forth into the world, rejoicing in the power of the Spirit" or "Go in peace to love and serve the Lord." We do it all again next week in the knowledge that we didn't do as well this past week as we should have.
That liturgical rhythm is important to me. I need to hear an Old Testament lesson, an epistle and a Gospel lesson to remind me that the story of God is one story and that the Word of God is unchanging, all those lessons tell of one God with one passion, to call a people to Himself and for Himself that they might build His kingdom on earth as a reminder of how it is supposed to be and a sign of what will be. I need to proclaim my faith in the timeless creeds to remind me that what I really believe about life and the world isn't just materialism, that what is, is. I believe in a God who created all things, that He sent His Son to die on a cross for my sins, that the Son came back from the dead after three days, lived among His disciples for a time and then rose to the right hand of the Father where he waits for the end of our time to come and judge the world, and that His resurrection means I will be resurrected from the dead and live forever if I believe these things. I believe that the Spirit of God lives in me and that gives me hope, faith and power for living a life more in line with God's will.
It is important to me that I confess my failures in the certain knowledge of the forgiveness of God and that I receive afresh the bread and wine that symbolize the body and blood of Jesus which are my surety. It is important that others participate in that work with me to remind me that I am not alone either in my faith or my failure to be all that I should. That work or liturgy is what keeps me moving ahead with hope and it is what keeps me humble.
After that work is complete, you are invited to respond to an altar call. Most Protestant churches have an altar call and someone responds once to that call and they are then baptized and good to go. In our tradition, we believe that those who are already baptized need continual renewal due to the ongoing reality of sin in our lives. The practice of weekly communion is a reminder of our continuing need for the cleansing work of the cross and a reminder of the hope of the resurrection and its power for mission and ministry. The ending of the service is actually a commandment to mission, either "Let us go forth into the world, rejoicing in the power of the Spirit" or "Go in peace to love and serve the Lord." We do it all again next week in the knowledge that we didn't do as well this past week as we should have.
That liturgical rhythm is important to me. I need to hear an Old Testament lesson, an epistle and a Gospel lesson to remind me that the story of God is one story and that the Word of God is unchanging, all those lessons tell of one God with one passion, to call a people to Himself and for Himself that they might build His kingdom on earth as a reminder of how it is supposed to be and a sign of what will be. I need to proclaim my faith in the timeless creeds to remind me that what I really believe about life and the world isn't just materialism, that what is, is. I believe in a God who created all things, that He sent His Son to die on a cross for my sins, that the Son came back from the dead after three days, lived among His disciples for a time and then rose to the right hand of the Father where he waits for the end of our time to come and judge the world, and that His resurrection means I will be resurrected from the dead and live forever if I believe these things. I believe that the Spirit of God lives in me and that gives me hope, faith and power for living a life more in line with God's will.
It is important to me that I confess my failures in the certain knowledge of the forgiveness of God and that I receive afresh the bread and wine that symbolize the body and blood of Jesus which are my surety. It is important that others participate in that work with me to remind me that I am not alone either in my faith or my failure to be all that I should. That work or liturgy is what keeps me moving ahead with hope and it is what keeps me humble.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Lost on the Journey
Maybe I should hike more often. I seem to get a lot of object lessons out of my time in the woods alone with God. This week it relates to the statement Jesus made in Matthew 7.13-14, "Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. 14For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few."
I was talking to a friend as I drove to the trailhead on Thursday and remarked that I was disappointed that the Blue Ridge Parkway is still closed going south from my house because it closed off miles of trail to me that I particularly like to hike. My real complaint was that the trail I was going to be hiking was so familiar to me as to be boring.
I have been doing a good deal of grumbling to God lately for a variety of reasons and this day was no exception. I had my head down and my brain completely engaged in the task of complaining during the first part of the hike. I began to slowly realize that this part of the trail was a bit too wide to be "right" for this area and that it didn't seem to be quite as well worn as I would have expected. In fact, in some places, it wasn't quite clear that anyone had been here recently. I also didn't remember the trail looking so much like an old, abandoned road bed, so I did the smart thing, I turned back. Problem was, there were no markers for a trail anywhere to be seen and at one point I was forced to choose at a fork in the road and then I was looking at someone's house.
The good thing about my familiarity with that trail was that I knew where it must be from my current position. The bad thing was that it was straight up a leaf covered hill about a quarter mile and the climb was several hundred feet. Panting and exhausted, I reached the trail after the climb. When I got to the original place where I had gone astray, I realized that what had happened was that the trail is well-marked but maybe one-third the width of the road I had gone down. It required me to not be in cruise control to see the right path.
Again, the journey is like life. We have to be alert and we have to follow the way-markers in order to keep in the right direction to reach our destination. Once we have taken the wide path it can be quite an ordeal to get back to the narrow but correct one.
Have you seen the movie, Gran Torino, with Clint Eastwood? It teaches the Gospel pretty well.
I was talking to a friend as I drove to the trailhead on Thursday and remarked that I was disappointed that the Blue Ridge Parkway is still closed going south from my house because it closed off miles of trail to me that I particularly like to hike. My real complaint was that the trail I was going to be hiking was so familiar to me as to be boring.
I have been doing a good deal of grumbling to God lately for a variety of reasons and this day was no exception. I had my head down and my brain completely engaged in the task of complaining during the first part of the hike. I began to slowly realize that this part of the trail was a bit too wide to be "right" for this area and that it didn't seem to be quite as well worn as I would have expected. In fact, in some places, it wasn't quite clear that anyone had been here recently. I also didn't remember the trail looking so much like an old, abandoned road bed, so I did the smart thing, I turned back. Problem was, there were no markers for a trail anywhere to be seen and at one point I was forced to choose at a fork in the road and then I was looking at someone's house.
The good thing about my familiarity with that trail was that I knew where it must be from my current position. The bad thing was that it was straight up a leaf covered hill about a quarter mile and the climb was several hundred feet. Panting and exhausted, I reached the trail after the climb. When I got to the original place where I had gone astray, I realized that what had happened was that the trail is well-marked but maybe one-third the width of the road I had gone down. It required me to not be in cruise control to see the right path.
Again, the journey is like life. We have to be alert and we have to follow the way-markers in order to keep in the right direction to reach our destination. Once we have taken the wide path it can be quite an ordeal to get back to the narrow but correct one.
Have you seen the movie, Gran Torino, with Clint Eastwood? It teaches the Gospel pretty well.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
The Journey and the Wizard of Oz
Several years ago I read an article about Christian leadership that compared our role in life to that of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz and I think that is a good way of thinking about our lives as pilgrims. We are to know where we're going and to be welcoming and inviting along the way to any and all who are seeking change in their lives, who are aware that something is missing or not as it should be. Along the way Dorothy was always willing to accept those who would join her, never judging them by what they weren't but for their genuine willingness to share the journey and to admit their needs. No one on the journey believed they were "all together." They accepted one another for who they were and did their best to support one another collectively. They cared about one another even though they were sometimes frustrated with one another.
Vulnerability is key to the Christian life, especially in community. We have to be able to trust one another enough to share our needs with one another. Ever since the first sin we have hidden from one another and blamed one another. Jesus came in order that we can come out of hiding. We can acknowledge our sin knowing that in doing so and having faith in His Name that indeed we shall not surely die. Accepting His sacrifice puts us on level ground, sinners saved by grace, struggling with temptation and desires and falling down regularly in our walk. We need others to be there to pick us up, assure us of forgiveness and keep us pointed toward Jesus.
We are those who know where we're going but we remain on the journey, aware that we aren't there yet and aware that the hope of wholeness lies at the end of the road, not at any point along the road. We continue to be on the journey all our lives, never attaining to complete Godliness in this mortal frame. We can make the journey alone in the body but never alone because the Holy Spirit is with us always, but God's gracious provision for us typically includes others with who we can travel and we should rejoice to have brothers and sisters on the way with us and we should always be welcoming of others who are willing to share the journey.
Vulnerability is key to the Christian life, especially in community. We have to be able to trust one another enough to share our needs with one another. Ever since the first sin we have hidden from one another and blamed one another. Jesus came in order that we can come out of hiding. We can acknowledge our sin knowing that in doing so and having faith in His Name that indeed we shall not surely die. Accepting His sacrifice puts us on level ground, sinners saved by grace, struggling with temptation and desires and falling down regularly in our walk. We need others to be there to pick us up, assure us of forgiveness and keep us pointed toward Jesus.
We are those who know where we're going but we remain on the journey, aware that we aren't there yet and aware that the hope of wholeness lies at the end of the road, not at any point along the road. We continue to be on the journey all our lives, never attaining to complete Godliness in this mortal frame. We can make the journey alone in the body but never alone because the Holy Spirit is with us always, but God's gracious provision for us typically includes others with who we can travel and we should rejoice to have brothers and sisters on the way with us and we should always be welcoming of others who are willing to share the journey.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Journey or pilgrimage
A few years ago I was in a pub near the Appalachian trail with some fellow pastors and a young woman came up to us and began to talk. She was hiking the trail with her boyfriend and wanted to know who we were because we were clearly not on the trail and in this little town it was a bit strange to see a group of guys together who weren't hikers. We told her who we were and she volunteered that she was a Christian and that this hike was, for her, sort of a spiritual journey. One friend asked if she had a Bible and when she said no, we offered to get one for her before we left. The same pastor had great wisdom and asked her if she understood the word "pilgrimage" as distinct from journey. That little question allowed him to offer her a true spiritual journey by explaining that the difference lies in the purpose.
Many of us are literally on a journey without a set destination, but those on a pilgrimage know where they're going and their lives are oriented by that destination. God told Abram to go to the land He would show Him. Moses knew where God was leading the people, his first promised destination was back to the mountain where he had seen the burning bush, after he had led the people out of Egypt, his second destination was one he would never reach, the Promised Land. The Magi knew by the star where they were going to see the new born king. Do we know our destination?
It is important for us as Christians to know where our journey is headed. It is important to know that we aren't leading the jourey, we are still following the One who knows the way to the Father. We are still following Jesus. I am more and more thankful each day for the gift of the Holy Spirit to lead and guide me in this pilgrim journey. The Bible is a wonderful guidebook and the Holy Spirit is both guide and companion, revealing the Word incarnate and the Word written in such a way that we are never alone and never without the ability to discern God's way forward in any situation if we will just take the time to listen and have the courage to follow.
Many of us are literally on a journey without a set destination, but those on a pilgrimage know where they're going and their lives are oriented by that destination. God told Abram to go to the land He would show Him. Moses knew where God was leading the people, his first promised destination was back to the mountain where he had seen the burning bush, after he had led the people out of Egypt, his second destination was one he would never reach, the Promised Land. The Magi knew by the star where they were going to see the new born king. Do we know our destination?
It is important for us as Christians to know where our journey is headed. It is important to know that we aren't leading the jourey, we are still following the One who knows the way to the Father. We are still following Jesus. I am more and more thankful each day for the gift of the Holy Spirit to lead and guide me in this pilgrim journey. The Bible is a wonderful guidebook and the Holy Spirit is both guide and companion, revealing the Word incarnate and the Word written in such a way that we are never alone and never without the ability to discern God's way forward in any situation if we will just take the time to listen and have the courage to follow.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thoughts on the Journey
About eighteen months ago I decided that I really wanted to take my oldest son and go hiking on the North York Moors in England. My wife and I had been there a couple of times and there is something about the area of the world that appeals to me. I wanted to spend some time with my son and I wanted to spend some time in hiking boots walking across those moors. I planned for months, found the hike that looked like the best option for us, bought all the gear, typed out all the route information and had it laminated (it is northern Britain, so I knew I could count on rain), found the places we would stay, all the stuff necessary to have a successful trip. Then I did the hard part, preparing my body for the work of hiking nearly 90 miles in five days. I began going out into the woods here in Asheville and hiking 35 miles a week or so, knowing that the elevation changes on the moors wouldn't compare to what we have in the mountains so I didn't have to hike as much as I would there. I began working out in a gym several days a week as well. Everything went according to plan, I was prepared for what lay ahead of me, and it was a great trip.
When I got back from that trip I cut back on my hiking here and, in fact, hadn't been out in the woods for several months until yesterday and boy, did I pay a price for the lay-off. I have continued working out in the gym but that is a poor substitute for actually hiking on trails. I have blisters on my heels and sore muscles abounding in my lower body. I chose a hike that was perhaps too difficult for my first time back out, and I nearly gave up before I reached my destination (it was an out and back hike).
What I realized as I hiked yesterday was that the Journey of faith is very much like that experience, we need a goal to keep us motivated and on-track. It is no coincidence that Paul uses the image of an Olympic runner who trains his body in order to win the race and get the prize. It is important that we keep the end in mind as we travel what was initially referred to as The Way. If we keep in mind that our goal is "Christ-likeness" then we can focus on what we need to do to get there. If we forget that day by day we are to be moving in that direction, prepping for our eventual destination of the throne of God, we run the risk of spiritual sloth. As I discovered yesterday, if you lack a goal, you lack motivation and getting back in shape, even to regain where you once were, requires hard work. Keep the goal ever before you on the Journey and realize that it isn't a sprint, but a marathon we're running.
When I got back from that trip I cut back on my hiking here and, in fact, hadn't been out in the woods for several months until yesterday and boy, did I pay a price for the lay-off. I have continued working out in the gym but that is a poor substitute for actually hiking on trails. I have blisters on my heels and sore muscles abounding in my lower body. I chose a hike that was perhaps too difficult for my first time back out, and I nearly gave up before I reached my destination (it was an out and back hike).
What I realized as I hiked yesterday was that the Journey of faith is very much like that experience, we need a goal to keep us motivated and on-track. It is no coincidence that Paul uses the image of an Olympic runner who trains his body in order to win the race and get the prize. It is important that we keep the end in mind as we travel what was initially referred to as The Way. If we keep in mind that our goal is "Christ-likeness" then we can focus on what we need to do to get there. If we forget that day by day we are to be moving in that direction, prepping for our eventual destination of the throne of God, we run the risk of spiritual sloth. As I discovered yesterday, if you lack a goal, you lack motivation and getting back in shape, even to regain where you once were, requires hard work. Keep the goal ever before you on the Journey and realize that it isn't a sprint, but a marathon we're running.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Control and Security
Abram's journey with God really began after he got to the promised land. It is hard to tell how much time has elapsed but the next section of Genesis 12 tells of a man not entirely certain about this whole thing. God has appeared to him and promised this land to his descendants, he has built and altar and worshiped and then moved on.
Because of a famine in the land, he and his company, including his wife Sarai and his nephew Lot, are compelled to go down to Egypt. At least in Egypt there are fertile plains along the Nile and therefore in times of famine and drought elsewhere those who were bedouin like Abram knew that there would be food in Egypt. Abram, however, sees a problem. The problem, in his eyes, is that his wife is a beautiful woman, too beautiful perhaps for safety. He concocts a plan for them to keep them safe, posing as brother and sister so that the Egyptians won't kill him in order that they might have her for themselves.
Abram was right in his suspicions but wrong in his lack of faith. Surely the God who had promised all the land to him and that he would be the father of nations would be able to keep he and Sarai safe from harm. God said He would bless Abram and so He does while in Egypt, we are told of all the possessions Abram has there. Abram, however, isn't ready to fully trust God as being there in all things, he is still somewhat self-reliant, relying on his survival instinct and his wits.
One of the difficult things about this journey with God is abandoning our self-reliance and that whole survival instinct thing. If He were always at our side we would be a lot more comfortable in trusting Him, but there are times when we feel alone and vulnerable and it seems like we have to take matters into our own hands just to make sure. This is all new to Abram and times are tough, and tough times call for creative measures. We like the comfort and security of being in control, and God seems to have an agenda that takes us out of our comfort and security and into places where we have to learn to trust Him.
Because of a famine in the land, he and his company, including his wife Sarai and his nephew Lot, are compelled to go down to Egypt. At least in Egypt there are fertile plains along the Nile and therefore in times of famine and drought elsewhere those who were bedouin like Abram knew that there would be food in Egypt. Abram, however, sees a problem. The problem, in his eyes, is that his wife is a beautiful woman, too beautiful perhaps for safety. He concocts a plan for them to keep them safe, posing as brother and sister so that the Egyptians won't kill him in order that they might have her for themselves.
Abram was right in his suspicions but wrong in his lack of faith. Surely the God who had promised all the land to him and that he would be the father of nations would be able to keep he and Sarai safe from harm. God said He would bless Abram and so He does while in Egypt, we are told of all the possessions Abram has there. Abram, however, isn't ready to fully trust God as being there in all things, he is still somewhat self-reliant, relying on his survival instinct and his wits.
One of the difficult things about this journey with God is abandoning our self-reliance and that whole survival instinct thing. If He were always at our side we would be a lot more comfortable in trusting Him, but there are times when we feel alone and vulnerable and it seems like we have to take matters into our own hands just to make sure. This is all new to Abram and times are tough, and tough times call for creative measures. We like the comfort and security of being in control, and God seems to have an agenda that takes us out of our comfort and security and into places where we have to learn to trust Him.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Welcome to the Journey
When Jesus called his disciples he called them to a journey called life. No big surprise there, God always invited people to life together with him. When He called a man named Abram in Genesis 12 it was to leave the familiar behind and come to a land God would show him and give to Abram's descendants. God calls him in verse 1 and they arrive in verse 5, short journey, but the journey only began with a trip to Canaan, the real journey was life together with God over the next 50 or so years. Every other personal story in the Bible begins with God calling someone or some group of people to a journey. The destination was always important but the journey was more important.
Over the next 25 years Abram would get a new name, becoming Abraham, father of many nations. He would have many adventures, prosper in all that he did, and learn about this God who first called him to the journey. He would learn to trust God enough to do whatever he asked but from time to time his faith would fail him and he would do something from doubt. He wasn't perfect, far from it, but God took Abram, imperfections and all, and used him to build a people.
The amazing thing is that this man, Abram, was a complete nobody until God called him and he agreed to follow. At the end of his life he had fathered two sons and that was it. If not for God's plan for those children, no one should ever have heard of Abram. At the end of his life he owned exactly enough of the land God had promised to be buried there in a cave. His mark on the world was insignificant at the time of his death. He was somewhat well known in the region but there is no reason on earth that we should know who he was today, except for the fact that God kept His promise to Abram.
The Journey is a worship service, a place to begin the journey of life with God, a place to ask questions, to seek to know more about God, to express your doubts and to join others on the journey. Life can be more than a series of random events leading to death, life with God can be world changing.
Over the next 25 years Abram would get a new name, becoming Abraham, father of many nations. He would have many adventures, prosper in all that he did, and learn about this God who first called him to the journey. He would learn to trust God enough to do whatever he asked but from time to time his faith would fail him and he would do something from doubt. He wasn't perfect, far from it, but God took Abram, imperfections and all, and used him to build a people.
The amazing thing is that this man, Abram, was a complete nobody until God called him and he agreed to follow. At the end of his life he had fathered two sons and that was it. If not for God's plan for those children, no one should ever have heard of Abram. At the end of his life he owned exactly enough of the land God had promised to be buried there in a cave. His mark on the world was insignificant at the time of his death. He was somewhat well known in the region but there is no reason on earth that we should know who he was today, except for the fact that God kept His promise to Abram.
The Journey is a worship service, a place to begin the journey of life with God, a place to ask questions, to seek to know more about God, to express your doubts and to join others on the journey. Life can be more than a series of random events leading to death, life with God can be world changing.
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